A relationship consultant, am I?

I can't but laugh at this. Would anyone believe me if I said I get phone calls from many of my friends at very regular intervals asking me for relationship advices. Me? Now, this is too hard for my good senses to digest 'coz I myself have been a big time looser in this regard. After my first girl friend threw me out of her life I've never been able to maintain even a decent long standing acquaintance with the women folk. I still do fancy a female's presence in my life, but frankly, I know I'm too ill equipped to handle the better of the sexes. I even said "why me" to the last one who called me a day before.

"If you can't, then no one can help me in this," he said "you've been there and done that and who can enlighten me on relationships better than you?".

For heaven sake, can't anyone see how lonely and desperate that I'm for a human company?

This is weird. This really is getting into my head! How can I be sitting and giving relationship advices to people when I myself has no clue of how to get about a female? But that's the irony of life, I guess.