"The point is to re-commit"

For some odd reason, the healthy fulfilling lifestyle I tried to cope up with in the past couple of months seems to be slipping out of control. One reason could be the sudden, unexpected mail from my x-g'friend after almost an year and a half. I felt extremely disturbed, rattled with her presence in my life again. But the truth is something more - I still couldn't find anything in my life to get actively involved in. And so, I still have the luxury to slip into occasional bouts of depression and wile away my time dwelling on past events and waste my time.

I like my current job and I like the moments I spent in my office. The people in there, their attitude, their cordial nature and their acceptance has made a big difference in my life. They think I'm crazy, funny, immature and that I've the mind and brains of an 18 year old, all dreamy and lost. Maybe, that's the impression that I make. But that's ok. My personality, my attitude and many things about me has changed since I walked into this office. I've begun to take life in its stride. I enjoy it. Besides, they don't disapprove of me even if they think that I'm a bit eccentric. Maybe because, being in the ad-world, they have seen eccentricities beyond comparison and I'm just a milder version of it. Besides, I find my colleagues to be a bit funny too and eccentric in their own terms. For example, the head of my department is a lady in her early 40's or late 30's, I guess, and she makes the whole department come alive with her mere presence. And I wouldn't like to know her age either, 'coz I feel at ease with her and can get along with her and that's all that matters. Then there is this guy in his early 30's who churns out one idea after another and keeps himself busy with many books, blogs and events of other people's life. He has almost a fanatical reverence for his hair which he gives a trim only when it almost out grow his head and starts resembling a bee-hive. He makes it a point to ask me every other day what I've been doing after my office hours, where I went, at what time I had my dinner, what I had for dinner, at what time I slept last night and so forth and so on. It used to be very annoying in the beginning but now, I think I've discovered the fun in letting my life be an open book. It's much less trouble when you have nothing to hide from others and say things in a simple direct language. And, honestly, I don't think I've anything to hide. Else, I wouldn't be writing this blog.

Lately, I happened to chat with an old friend of mine. I found him very much changed and when I asked for the reasons for his change, he said life has taught him to be secretive about things. This is fascinating. When I think about a handful of people back in my college days whom I befriended, I see that after getting out of the protected walls of the college within which we felt trapped, intimidated, cursed and shared some good moments, each of us took very different paths in life. Some of them have moved forward to a better, happy and happening life. Some feel that the college days that we loathed then, were heavenly when compared to the life they lead presently.

Ah! Writing this post has made me feel good again. As one of my friend said, it's too tiring to be good and follow the right track in life. It's ok to slip and fall once in a while. The point is to "re-commit" to things that are good. And that's what I'm going to do. I better hit the bed now. It's already 3.15 in the morning and I hardly have another 5 hours to catch up on my sleep and sweet dreams.


Anonymous said…
re-commit....great idea, I have a few things ZI need to do that with, thanks for the insight:)
Ekanthapadhikan said…
You're welcome Steven. And "thanks" to my friend who first put forward this idea.

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