The Truth About Me-self

I've been working in a call center selling pet insurance since April this year. I took it up a challenge,, deviating from my original field of profession, which is writing, editing... God, I've never felt so incompetent in a job before. I'm yet to achieve my monthly target. I've struggled to stay afloat and now instead of feeling a sense of accomplishment, I'm beginning to feel too tired and fatigued to carry myself any further. I know I shouldn't switch to this negative frame of mind and trust me, I'm not. I'm just trying to figure out myself why I couldn't succeed yet. I'm just trying to think and reach a conclusion here. The feedback I'm getting isn't helping me either. With the best of intentions, my team leader asked me to change the way I carry myself - become more fashionable in my dressing, change the way I sound, regularly shave or maintain stubbles, change my hairstyle etc. for me to look more 'cool' and confident. He

I finally got a job after nearly 8 months of waiting. It's not a job I was really looking forward to. It's a call center job where I'll have to sell pet insurance to people in the UK. I've never done sales before and the few times I tried, I wasn't too successful either. Nevertheless, it's the only job I could find and I'll have to take it up. I can't just go on borrowing money and feel stupid in front of others. Whatever said and done, I still am not feeling too good. For long I tried to fight my depression and the last couple of months I just lost it. I started doing all weird and odd stuff - getting drunk, calling up people and talking rubbish to them. The simple reason being that I was going quite nutty sitting alone at home with no one to talk to or share anything with. I still am not sure how far into the pit of depression I fell, or how much I've managed to cling on to the edges. All I feel now a days is just this emptiness. I'm ti