Lensing in and out of focus
Oh mine! I happened to hold an Olympus DSLR in my hand today. This the first time I'm ever touching an operational DSLR. It was very different from the many times I ran my fingers along the edge of the lens of the DSLR's in showrooms where I go window shopping. I turned and tuned the lens and made the stamp pad on my office desk zoom in and out of focus. My God! The very thought of thus composing a pic with a DSLR, which I'm going to own someday makes me feel just ecstatic! Which brand would I finally choose? My good old trusted and reliable Canon? Nikon, which everyone claims to be the best among the lot out there? Olympus, like the one that I just fiddled with? Sony, the cheapest among the lot? Fuji? Or at least a Kodak, which would be my last option, and cheaper than Sony, I guess (Or, do they have DSLRs? I'm not sure.)? Or would it be a Lumix (I doubt whether they come out with DSLRs). Ah! This is another one of my long term dream!
I think I'm making very slow but very steady progress in my life. I got my first bike about 8 months back and that too a Yamaha, which has always been my dream brand. I got a black, she-Labrador pup two weeks back, which was a dream I fostered for the past 8 years. Got a Reebok sunglass for a bargain I couldn't have dreamed of from an online dealer. And I've started saving for the DSLR too.
Excuse me, I'm not as stupid as you think to be feeling so fulfilled about acquiring such material and perishable assets. I could never have got all these if I were still involved in a relationship. I remember those times when each and every penny of mine was spent for only one cause - finding happy moments with my girl. Not that I regret it now. All the riches in this wouldn't be enough to ever pay for that happiness. But what pricks my heart is the fact that she never realized the worth of even half the money I splurged on her. She could only look at them as 'money'. She never saw the heart who kept every personal needs aside to afford her little luxuries. Else she would've never said she could pay me back in money if I was in need, at the time of our break-up. That was the ultimate insult I've ever faced in my life. No one or nothing could've hurt me more than that. Am I being unnecessarily sentimental as she blamed me to be? No. You need to understand something more in life to understand why I felt insulted then.
Ah! Some wounds never heal. Or maybe that it takes more time for some wounds to heal. The later statement is truer, I guess. I can't imagine being as hurt as now, 5 or maybe 10 years down the lane. All these incidents, these characters and even me-self would become just faded pictures in an old canvas.