The price you pay to 'grow up'

Just a couple of hours back, when I was walking down my street, I saw a little boy playing in a puddle formed by the night's rain. I don't know why, but I froze at the spot and watched him play, unmindful of the many people walking past him. He was all giggling and smiling at himself for himself getting all messed up in the mud. I, for one, has never done that when I was a little kid. But the scene just transported me to the day when my father got me my first bicycle and me spending the day-in and day-out on top of the wheels.

I used to live in a quaint little panchayat (something in between a village and a small town) when I was a kid. Having no friends to play with, my lonely hours were spent in roaming the place, exploring the many lonely streets and playing with the street dogs when I was sure no one else was looking. I was lonely even then, my father being my only play mate and him finding not too much time to spend with me because of his job (He was an Ayurveda Doctor). And yet I never knew, then, that loneliness was something so horrible. In fact, I never felt I was lonely. Another thing I had then, which I never realised I had, was my smile. I'll tell you how I discovered that I had a smile so adorable.

About four years back I visited the place where I spend my time as a kid and went about revisiting my past and some old acquaintances. There was this old lady, Lilly aunt, who used to make such delicious chicken delicacies for Christmas. I visited her to say a "hai". And when we were talking she suddenly remarked, "My child, you still have that smile on your face!". Now, I was quite taken aback at that comment. I couldn't comprehend what she was referring to. Seeing that puzzled look on my face she herself explained to me what she meant - "You smile from your open heart. It's not too easily that you find grown ups smiling like that". I admit, I was so throughly flattered by that! I never knew I had something like that. But this was before my break up and at a time when I still looked at life trough a pink glass. I wonder whether I still have that smile on my face. I guess, not.

Look at those kids in the pic. Look at their smile. No pretenses, no self-cautiousness, no restraints... Just that heavenly, divine, infectious smile on their face. Haven't you wondered? When you are down and out, that's exactly what you need to feel good again - someone smile at you like that! I don't know how many of our grown up friends can do that? No one, I suppose!

I'm sure even you had this gift from God, when you were young. And look at the prize we all had to pay and that too, to 'grow up' and learn that this world is not as pink as it seemed once! Is it really worth all that?


ADayInTheLife said…
The joy in a child is pure. They can see awe in everything.
(although some dear children live lives of hell on earth, and that is truly heartwrenching)

Your writing is timely in my life, as you know from my blog, that I need to refocus on those pure simple things that bring joy. I too tend to walk with rose colored glasses, when I am not whining, and I prefer to be that way. The world is full now of so much gloom and I grasp that which is good still.

I am sorry for your recent loss. I wish you simple joy.
Steven Anthony said…
I am sorry for all your loss. I believe that little boy with the infectious smile is still in you, deep in your soul just waiting to come out once youve healed a bit.

I still wear my rose colored glasses, the world is to harsh without them. Sometimes the price of growing up is tough, but life still has it precious moments, like your story about the dog in the gutter, what a wonderful thing you did, trying to rescue the pooch. Not alot og adults would do that, keep that sweet spirit. And dont throw away those rose colored glasses just yet.

Joy to you my friend:)
Vodka Mom said…
i adore the sound of children laughing- I sometimes feel it's God's medicine.

Yes, the world is harsh, but there are simple things in all that surrounds us that can bring us joy. Thanks for stopping by!!
Unknown Mami said…
I bet you still have that smile. You probably just don't use it as much. Remember, "Smile and the whole world smiles with you."

That was a lovely post. It made me smile.
Joanna Jenkins said…
Sending hope and a prayer that your smile is still there waiting to be reborn.

This was a beautiful post. Thanks for stopping by my blog so I could meet you. I'll be back again soon.
4evernite said…
Each year lived seems to remove a layer of smiles doesn't it? But we still have that inner child in us that causes us to stop and smile at a child playing in a puddle and other simple pleasures. Just as this post made me smile. Thank you. :-) and yes... it really IS worth all that.

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