The rabbit's out'a the bush
I tried to rationalize with my fancies I have for a girl. Note the word "have" and not "had" 'coz it'd be a lie to say that I've lost those fancies completely. I still do fancy her a lot. But now, after baring my heart in front of her, all I'm left with is an empty heart, a good feeling that I could be honest to someone and of course the wistful tears of having to wake up from a very beautiful dream. I'm not too sure whether she'd be comfortable in maintaining a contact with me after listening to all that I told her yesterday. But that's ok. I can understand her predicament. After all, she's one simple, straight forward girl who has got no idea to get into any emotional entanglements. And I least intend to be a nuisance in her life and make myself look like a fool. The whole trouble was with me, my fancies and those fancies getting the better of my rational mind. With God's good grace, I put an end to it. Now they are in my control and I'm their master. I can rest in peace now. "Amen".
The good part of the whole story is that I didn't act as childish as I expected me-self to behave. I never said things like, "Oh! My dear. I love you and am dying for you", "You'll be my first and last love and if not you, no one else in my life", "Please...", whatever and such silly stuff. In fact I was quite surprised at me-self for telling her that the red ross in my hand is in its full bloom for her and if she doesn't need it, I'll reserve it for the next person to walk past the door of my life. After all, I'm only 26 and there's a life time's opportunities and chances lying ahead of me.
Well, she was a bit sad that she might loose a good friend, now that the rabbit is out of the bush. It would have been true with the person that I was a couple of years back. I wouldn't have been able to take a "NO" for an answer. But no. I've grown since then. I have my experience to guide my way to be better than that fox in the vine yard. My idea is to build meaningful and substantial relationships with the people around me. And I always want to marry my best friend. I believe that having your best friend and spouse in one person is the best you can ever bargain for in your life. Ain't I right?