I tried thinking from her shoe. I assumed that she was too young to respond to a proposal from me. I assumed she needs to be given more time. I assumed that she was helpless in a way I never knew. I assumed that she thinks I'm trying to play around with her... "You'd have known me better my dear pretty one, only if you had bothered to take a good look at me". But her shoe is too small for my feet, I guess! I found it impossible to convince my mind with all this. So, what did I do? I thought of the next best thing to be done. Forward a formal proposal through her parents! Do I sound ridiculous? Well, I might be. But remember, there are no rules in love and war.
But to do this, I needed the help of an elder person from my side. And with the purpose in mind, I went and met an uncle of mine with whom I can discuss such matters in open. And what turned out of that discussion was... Ah! After listening to all that I had to say - that I proposed to her twice, that I've been carrying this burden in my heart for the past three months and all that shit, he asked me to "forget her"! Yes. That's exactly what he said!!
Forget her? Oh! My heart aches at the thought... Not that I'm so madly in love with her. Not that I'd not be able to do it. But it's not that easy a thing to do. It's her, the reason for me to get out of the trauma of my past broken relationship. It's her, who made me realise that the lover-boy in me is still alive. It's her, who made me realise that there are better women left in this world. It's her, who was the reason for me to wear my pink glasses again. It's her... It's her... It's her... Oh! My PYT!!
But after talking to him, I could see the reasons and mind you, the reasons are good enough ones. He said he'd have readily met her parents with my proposal only if she had shown some interest in me. Also, he did point out the difference in our domestic backgrounds. I saw, for the first time that there are a few stumbling blocks even if our relationship had materialised. Not that they are major ones. But they sure are little ones which'd make all the difference. And to get over that, we need to work things out together. And for that to happen, she needs to be serious about getting involved with me. But I see that none of this is going to happen. I saw the reality of the situation and that my dreams would stay as just sweet dreams... Bo hooo... I wish I could break down and cry. Now, please don't tell me, "Come on, be a man!". It takes a Man to cry and you know that.
And please don't mistake all this to be of her fault. No. She did absolutely nothing to encourage me. But her mere presence was... Ah! Why cry over spilled milk, right? In fact she even showed her annoyance at my advances. Her slate is clean and I've nothing against her. The "romantic little booher" (that's what
And with a bleeding heart I tell this to myself - "Good bye PYT, my dear pretty little girl... Only if you had..."
"Only if you had..." What wishful thinking??? Grrr... Bo Hoooo...