Looser - Looser!!!

"I know, I shouldn't be but this what I am".

Now, did I sound like making a statement there? Being assertive? Believe me, that's not me. But I really wish I could do that. It could've saved my face a couple of times if I could sound so arrogant. But both the times all I did was just unzip that really wide grin on my face and sat there like a dumb duck!

Which are these two situations? Hm... Both the situations involved a girl and that's all I can say for now. Read on to know more...

Before going into explaining those situations, I'd tell you about an incident that happened last Sunday which would stand a testimony for how absent minded I'm. After visiting the beach for the 'Sunday in my city' photo shoot, and on my way to my home, I was suddenly reminded of one of my old family friends who lived on the way. I remembered someone mentioning that their daughter was going to get married and I completely forgot when I heard that. "Why not pay them a visit? This would be a nice occasion to go meet them", I says to me-self. So I turn my bike and head for their home. Luckily all of them were home and were very excited to see me. Their daughter came out of her room all looking good and sporting a very pleasant smile on her face. I always knew her to be a very skinny girl but now she looked a bit plump and rosy cheeked and all. "So do every girl, days before their marriage. Play of some hormones, I guess!", I tell myself.

"So. When is the marriage?", I ask the girl and waited for her to blush and act very shy.

But to my surprise all eyes turned on me and there was an air of bleak silence about that moment. All their smiles faded and the girl looked at me rather shocked, all the colours draining off her cheeks, as if I uttered something damned! I got startled at this response and the silence was broken by a baby crying from the adjacent room. In a flash, the utter ridiculousness of the situation dawned on me. The marriage happened an year and a half back and I remember dropping my mom at the wedding reception in the evening. I didn't attend the marriage or the reception 'coz I just returned home town after my break-up and was allergic to such social gatherings. And about 10 months back I did get introduced to her husband in a departmental store. By then she was already carrying. How could I've missed all these details? OMG! I don't have words to explain my embarrassement! And what did I do? Any guesses??? No prize for it, anyways... I sat there wearing the best of my stupidest grins on my face...

Ah! Now maybe you have a better idea of what I really am!!!

The other two situations I wanted to talk about is nothing when compared to this.

Situation 1 - This happened an year back when I was working with a P.R (Public Relations) firm in Bangalore. There was this PYT who was my colleague. We shared a friendship that was so full of teasing each other and having a lot of fun together. One fine Monday morning she walks to my table wearing a burgundy with an odd shade, ethnic dress and with a proud smile on her face. It was her b'day and I wished her a "Happy B'day" and surprised her by presenting her with the pink vanity bag that she had been eyeing in the shopping mall a couple of days before.

"Oh my God. I can't believe this! Did you really get me this bag? I mean...", she was all in the air, shrieking hysterically and all (you know how young girls act when they get excited).

And then I ask her, "But why are you wearing this old, greyed dress when you should be wearing your new b'day suite?".

All her hysteria stops in a second. She stares down at me and screams at the top of her voice, "you... you idiot... This is my new b'day suite that I've been telling you about. My mom made it especially for me and God knows how much it cost her..."

Cut scene

Situation 2 - There is this CCT (Chubby Cute Thing) who joined my office a couple of weeks back (I returned to my native town - Trivandrum, soon after my break-up and took up a job with a Web-Content providing agency and later moved into my current job with an ad agency as a Copy Writer). K. Now the day before, I walked into my office to see this CCT at her desk looking all transformed into a gorgeous maid. I did notice something different about her looks. Ah yes! She had not braided her hair. Maybe that she took a shower just before coming to the office and has left her hair loose to dry. Anyways, she looked good and a little matured unlike her usual cute childish self. Later I noticed that every other person at the office was commenting on her new look and even the ladies, for that reason!

"Is it all that simple to look your best? Just let your hair loose? Aha! And the best of my female friends always had an argument with me when I tell them, the best way to look good is to look your natural self and not to dabble on expensive cosmetics. Look at her! All she did was to let her hair loose and the whole world is talking about her!", I was saying all this to myself when a senior lady colleague sitting next to me asked, "Did you notice her new hair-do?".

"New hair what? New what? But...."

I know I'm the dumbest plain ass when it comes to complementing a girl on her looks. I'm so candid about my stupid observations of such female allurements. Now I know what it takes to win a woman's heart - appeal to her vanity! All my romantic songs and such stuff are not going to win me my girl, I guess!!!

"Looser... You loooosssseeeerrrr"

Anyways, I'm not gon'a stop singing as long as love is in the air. So, you can listen to me sing another one of those love songs @ Ekan learns to sing...


dannyd said…
I've forgotten stuff before, but never like that lol!!!

I really like this post, and I hope that you can come back to Signifying Nothing and see this story of mine:

Jo said…
Hi, my friend. I'm so sorry you've had to go through those embarrassing moments--it's happened to the best of us but your wit, compassion, earnest demeanor and self-deprecating humor will win over everyone hearts and all will soon be forgiven--if it hasn't already.

Much, love, peace and happiness,
"Diary Of A Sad Housewife"
I'm sure these happen to everyone. I liked your post.
Anonymous said…
funny stuff my friend....we have all had those times when our foot just wont stay out of our mouths..lol

enjoyed the post..peace
Kaiserin Sisi said…
We all have our moments!

I learned a new abbre. today ~ CCT :-) hehehe
Scarlet said…
The first story had me on edge! OMG, I can't imagine what must've been going through your mind when you realized your mistake. Funny now, but not then. :)
Joanna Jenkins said…
I'm glad I'm not the only one who forgets things like that!
Brian Miller said…
i really hope i am laughing with you...have had a few of those open mouth insert foot moments...feel for you man.
4evernite said…
We all have those moments... and OH how embarrassing they can be, eh? lol.
Elenka said…
OK, so this is my first day visiting your blog...Got here by....I don't even know. I hope I'm not being rude, but..... looser means 'more not tight'.... and Loser is what probably I am for even pointing this out. Don't be mad at me. OR more likely, you did it on purpose and I am not getting the joke, which is for sure more likely.
I don't know why I'm babbling on.
You did give me a laugh at your own expense...I love people that can do that. Nice to meet ya.

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