Uh... Uh!!!

I feel like a soldier in the war front but without any armour or a good weapon. And the people standing against me are not strictly my enemies. They're all just the victims of a ridiculous fate. Misunderstandings, suspicions... And all this while I was not even aware of what exactly I was betting against. All of a sudden, I saw people turning against me and spreading tales about me. And some of the tales were... Uh! Can't comprehend with all that's happening around me. I wouldn't have given it all a tither only if... Uh! Uh! Not that I can do anything about it now. But I'm going to loose my dear love for things I never did. Fate or whatever, this is not just or fair. I feel like a naive kid sitting and complaining like this. But what else can I do? Not that I can't react. But my age, my experiences and all have taught me that reacting or being aggressive is all the work of a weak mind. And I've grown stronger through the years. But there are times I curse me-self for being so considerate and calm even when the other person is slinging not mud but s#!t on me. And all I do is smile back at him, wipe off the dirt from my face, go back home, get into my room and hit the wall! That's how I vent out my anger, my frustration... Am I doing the right thing? I feel like running around mad and crying out to this whole world that I'm innocent of whatever the others are accusing me for. No. I never did that. I could never have done anything as disgusting as that! Call me any names. Brand me the way you please... But please... This is ridiculous. This is insane!! I do not mind me being convicted for a thing I never did. But loosing my love in the name of that is unbearable. It's way too painful for me that I've gone numb. I don't feel no more pain now. I can walk past a gory accident and smirk at the dead bodies. I'm becoming cynical without my knowledge. I'm loosing things for no fault of mine... OMG! When will I ever breath fresh again? Seems as if life's mocking at me!

PST: I'm sorry for such a bad post. I can't get it off my system. And I can't help but be very vague about the incidents. It's not my life I care for. But it'd put many people in the bad light if I start washing my dirty linens in the public and I don't want to do that. All I know is that life's playing yet another dirty trick with me.