Retrospection

The college campus no longer held the familiar atmosphere when I walked in there. New walls have been raised and the air was laden with the smell of fresh paint. It looked like a tomb of my past... our past... It was in front of this library that I stood gazing at her for an eternity. It was under this tree that we spent many of the afternoon sessions, sharing "sweet nothings". It was in front of this computer lab that we sat and made plans for our future. It was in front of this big old tree (I don't know what tree it is) that I first said "Hai" to Govind. It was this paved road which we used to walk, sharing things about our lives, sharing ideas, our anxieties. It was in this campus, the four walls of protection within which, the three of us shared our dreams. We believed we were all travellers in the same journey of life. We believed we were destined to be together all through our lives (Or maybe it was only me who had such lofty notions)... But destiny had other plans. We were never allowed to be together. One person had to be out of it. That was the rule set by some unknown force. Though the three of us could be said as together in the campus, the girl always hated Govind for some odd reason. She used to warn me against my friendship with him. And when they became classmates when they went for higher studies in the same college and became the best of friends, I was forced to disappear in between them. I and the girl became lovers for four and half years starting from our college days, only to part ways at a very bad note. And Govind? Well, he parted ways long before that and embarked on a journey of his own. He appeared only when she disappeared. The whole sequence of events, the ups and downs... It was the most unsettling phase that we three shared in common. And when we finally began to get settled, all the three of us found ourselves travelling in entirely different directions. I, being the most romantic at heart of all of them, thought, desired and even craved for our destinies to cross again. I spent many sleepless nights praying for it, cursing God or whatever fate for being so cruel, so unfair... And here I'm, the loner (not by choice though) among the three, still as lonely as loneliness could be, thinking, brooding, crying... There still seems to be many questions that are un answered. And those will be answered only if she's back and the three of us together and most of all, only if she, at least for this one time, be honest with us. But let me tell you, I'm no longer too bothered about finding those answers. Let the questions hang in mid air. If the same tricky destiny has plans to answer me, let it. Or else... Ah! I'm not bothered about it anyways...