33 is not an old age per say, but it makes yo feel so old when all your friends have already got married and even have kids.
I feel so stuck in my present and have no hope for the future that on nights like this I really wish I close my eyes for the last time.
There are still desires burning in me - I want a woman in my life, kids to take care of; plan vacations with them to many of my favourite places... A trip with my friends and their family to some place like Kodaikanal or Andaman or Sikkim.
I want to be in company, I need people around me.
I'm thankful that I still have my mother and grandparents at my home, I love and feel very comfortable living with them but at nights, I feel my bed is terribly empty without another person - someone to talk to, just hold hands or someone stroking my hair. Someone, at least to pick up a fight with me over something I did!
You know something - if I had had that life by now, the bottle of wine, watching movies repeatedly, cigarettes would all have found their way outside my door. I would have been in a most beautiful and relaxing sleep by now.
I just feel like crying!