Loneliness...

Loneliness... It's a friend I've been trying to avoid for ages but I guess, he's the only one interested enough to stick with me.

33 is not an old age per say, but it makes yo feel so old when all your friends have already got married and even have kids.

I feel so stuck in my present and have no hope for the future that on nights like this I really wish I close my eyes for the last time.

There are still desires burning in me - I want a woman in my life, kids to take care of; plan vacations with them to many of my favourite places... A trip with my friends and their family to some place like Kodaikanal or Andaman or Sikkim.

I want to be in company, I need people around me.

I'm thankful that I still have my mother and grandparents at my home, I love and feel very comfortable living with them but at nights, I feel my bed is terribly empty without another person - someone to talk to, just hold hands or someone stroking my hair. Someone, at least to pick up a fight with me over something I did!

You know something - if I had had that life by now, the bottle of wine, watching movies repeatedly, cigarettes would all have found their way outside my door. I would have been in a most beautiful and relaxing sleep by now.

I just feel like crying!