The Truth About Me-self

First of all, "Sorry" my friend that I couldn't give a happy note today - I'm too confused... Me and my mom went for a late night show and we returned to find one of our kittens run over by some vehicle. It's intestines were our and it was taking its last. I scooped it up in my arms and walked a long way to find a decent place for it to be buried. While in my arms, it withed and showed signs of life! It opened it's tiny mouth and tried to cry out but its sound wouldn't come out. I was gripped by a sense of, I don't know what? I deposited it by the road side where there was an overgrowth of shrubbery. I saw its dainty head resting on the grass. Did it look at me? I couldn't stand it's pain. I thought I'd choke it to death to relieve it off its pains. I tightened my fingers around its neck. Its neck was so tiny that just two of my fingers were enough to tighten my grip around it. I pressed. It didn't move. I pressed even harder an...

I'm continuing my series on good thoughts before hitting the bed. Not that anything so good happened today. It was a usual day - a hectic day, in fact. Lots of work, little chit-chats with colleagues and a beer to give a finishing touch to it all. To be frank, I'm just sitting bored, not knowing what exactly to do. But as my friend suggested, I'm trying to keep the bad thoughts at bay and bidding all good thoughts, if any, to my mind. What did happen today? Got up early, took bath, had my breakfast and headed off to work. But yes. There is something worth mentioning. I had a late lunch, at about half past two. I felt very hungry and ran into the pantry of our office with my lunch box carefully packed by my mom. And what did I find in the box? Aha! Nice vegetable biryani and fish curry and pappadams and a boiled egg! Also I had taste-buds-tickling lemon pickle in the shelf of the pantry? What more can a hungry tummy ask for? Can you believe it if I say...

I had this conversation with a friend two nights back and she insisted that I must continue blogging. Not just that, she also insisted that I must fill my blog with happier thoughts and the fun people around. Thank you friend, for pushing me in the right direction but I don't know how regular I can blog. There used to be a time when I was like a-blog-post-a-day keeps Ekan happy. It's no longer like that. Nevertheless, I'll try to keep my promise to you. To be frank, I didn't feel too good today. For some reason, I was a lot disturbed and I still am. The past three days had been good - fun filled and full of activities - but today... Now, what was the sunnier side of my life today? Hm... Ye! i thought of taking my mom out for a night-show. We wanted to watch a Tamil horror movie that got released recently. We had an early dinner and reached the cinema only to find out that the movie is no longer running there. Then we went around almost all the cinemas in town an...

There's a ton of memory that's weighing down my thoughts. I lost all my contact with her about 3 months back. I last send a mail and a message to her about two months back and never got any reply. No. Not that she'd dead. She's very much alive and I know that but she has gone far, far away from me. Not a day pass without thinking about her. In fact, it's her thoughts and the handful of beautiful memories of our togetherness that I live on every hour. I wish to go to her home, knock at her door and bargain a glance at her but I dare not do it. Not because I'm afraid of anything for myself but I don't wish to disrupt a peaceful life that I expect her to be having now. I think I've grown enough to take in pains and not complain aloud and so I sit here typing this post with invisible tears running down my cheeks. I wish someday I come across her again. No. Not to ask her anything. Not to hurt her with a word but to see her again. Just to see her again. I s...