The Truth About Me-self

Ah, that truly represents how I feel like - tired, fatigues and laaa...zy! Morning I wake up thinking when I can hit the bed again and I go to sleep praying the night never ends. Only if I had less disturbing dreams, or better even no dreams at all. Maybe it's the hot climate! 

Three continuous off-days. Phew, I'm glad it's coming to an end. I've to endure another 15 more hours before I can be back in my office and attending to a dozen things that'll keep my brain ticking. No. Don't mistake me to be a workaholic. I'm not. It's just that I don't seem to have an active social or any other kind of life outside my office. I'm become to be scared of weekends because I've absolutely nothing left to do when I'm home. Yes I still watch a lot of movies but there's a limit to everything, isn't it? Six movies a day with at least four of them as back to back is all that I can afford on an off-day. This has never happened to me before. I mean, I used to be a man with varied interests and a weekend from work was something I always looked forward to in the past. I hangout with a dear friend or go for a long ride with my camera, or sit home and write a story, or... But now? What happened? How did I end up becoming like th...

It's been ages since I wrote something. Now my brain, my heart and my fingers are itching to write about something. Something... But what? About Sachin's retirement? About movies, music, technology? My knowledge is failing my brain, my heart and my fingers. I haven't read about anything in the past few months. I haven't even read the daily newspaper. What could come out of an empty mind? And so here I'm, waiting, falling apart, trying the best to squeeze out 'something' from me, which is not there!

Maybe these are just the gibberish of an empty mind. For two days I've been home-bound and bed-ridden with a terrible lower back pain. I can stand, I can walk, climb a flight of stairs but cannot descend, or sit in a chair for more than 10 minutes. I almost fainted with pain two days back when I came down the stairs of my home. It felt as if my back was about to snap at my waist. Ouch... Yesterday I went to an Ayurvedic doctor and he prescribed me three days of oil massage, complete bed rest and medication that is to be continued. I bore with the absolute boredom of staying put at home for two days, watching at least 6 movies through my temporary house arrest. But today I dared to carry my aching back out and here I'm at a favorite hangout sipping a favourite drink. I'm sitting on my one butt so as not to put strain on my spine and I guess, it's working just fine. Now, did I say anything like "gibberish" at the beginning of this post? Ah! I no longer make ...

I'm the old self again - lovelorn, lost and lonely. I've had two serious break-ups in the past decade and at-least half a dozen love interests in between which were never requited but I'm strangely reminded of one of them tonight. Her name starts with A and ends with A and has an I and an N in between the five-letter word that her name is. She is that person that one of my friends, maybe not very sincerely but just out of her very clueless thoughts of life, set me up with. Honestly, I was a very desperate guy-in-need-of-a-girl type then and I fell for it. My friend asked me to meet them both at the film-festival that was happening then (I guess, it was 2011 IFFK) and I readily agreed. I did meet this girl whose name starts with A and ends with A and I did find her to be attractive too. But I was never a guy of charm and I guess, I flopped in and out in front of her. I was dejected but I left it at that to live my own life of drinks and cigarettes and lonely nig...